I will be the first to admit that I went seriously MIA. The last month or so of my pregnancy was long, hot and exhausting. We were blessed with such a smooth pregnancy, and while the last few months were exactly that, the weather we had here in Ottawa was 40 degrees every single day, I was working up until 20 days before our little guy was due, and just the regular chaos of preparing for your first babe. It made for a ridiculously busy time. For that, I totally apologize!
I am beyond excited to announce that our little boy has now arrived! We were blessed with a VERY smooth labor and delivery, and a healthy little man, born July 31st at 3:31am. Given that this is a public blog, my husband and I have decided that the best thing to do for privacy purposes is to address him as Baby C online. Baby C is now 4 weeks old, today! I can’t get over how quickly these last 4 weeks have flown by…I know that’s rather cliche to say, but it blows my mind that 4 weeks ago…one full month…this little boy was still inside me! He seems to be getting so big so quickly. He has grown out of all of his “newborn” clothes already and is starting to get into a sleeping pattern. Hence why I’m finally able to get back into the blogging thing!
Let’s talk about the first few weeks..rough!!! What no one tells you: the first 2 weeks that your little precious newborn is here are the hardest 2 weeks of your entire life. I have never endured anything more emotionally, physically and mentally draining in my 25 years, and I’ll be honest, I’ve had a good life, but it has certainly had its rough moments. No one wants to tell you that there will be moments spent at 3am where you are so frustrated you don’t know what to do with yourself or this little munchkin infront of you, moments where you feel like the worst mommy in the whole world, moments where you’re screaming at your husband for making comments like “maybe he’s hungry” because that is the easiest solution for it to automatically be your problem and not his, after all, what is he going to feed him with? They don’t tell you that breastfeeding, which for some reason I just never worried about, is actually the most painful thing ever for the first 3 weeks. I know 3 weeks doesn’t seem long, and for someone who is still pregnant you’re thinking, heck I’ve done 10 months like this, 3 weeks of a little discomfort is nothing. No. It’s not a little discomfort, it’s piercing pain going through your nipple every single time your hungry little monster chooses to want it. And 3 weeks, after 10 months of giving up your body, seems like a lifetime. You just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel in those first few weeks. I know I sound incredible negative. And I certainly don’t mean to, but I wish someone had prepare me for what I was about to encounter. You leave the hospital with this new little being who is by far and without question the biggest and proudest love of your life. You know how everyone says “my wedding day was the best day of my life…” these people haven’t had children yet. That, the day this little human being created by you and your partner is born, that is the best day of your life. The hospital is a breeze, the nurses help you breastfeed everytime if you wish, they show you how to bathe your little one, they force you to get sleep, they bring you meals, they take care of the baby’s vitals and make sure that everything looks great. And then you have to go home. It is beyond bittersweet. Here you are starting this wonderful new chapter, you drive 20km’s below the speed limit, your “macho” husband is a mess watching you put your new addition into the car seat, you cry as you watch your husband carry the car seat out the automatic front doors of the hospital because it is finally real. That little blessing you have been asking for, the one you prayed every night for, it is finally here and you are feeling on top of the world and overcome with joy. Then you get home. Your little bundle sleeps for the first night or so, wakes every 3 hours to eat, life is grand. Well, have you ever heard of cluster feeding? It is the worst thing of life. Feeding every 45 minutes to an hour, and if you’re lucky like us, your baby will cluster feed at 3-5am…awful! You spend hours upon hours tryin to figure out your munchkin, changing diapers, cuddling and becoming a human milk machine. On top of all of this, you have stitches in places that can only be dreamt of, you can’t sit without bracing yourself for the pain you’re about to endure, you still look 3/4 months pregnant…but instead of a firm little baby belly it resembles more of a “blob”. Oh, and you haven’t been able to have a shower in 3 days. Gross. If I sound like I didn’t enjoy the first week at home, that would be partially true. Not because I didn’t have moments of quiet with my little boy cuddled up on my chest, in awe of how much I loved him already, but because for one reason or another you spend 10 months giving up your body and everything related to it to make the best home for your munchkin, only to realize this world is cruel and doesn’t give you a break once theyre born. I also look back at that first week very differently now that we’re in week 4…every week is becoming more and more enjoyable.
So here we are. One month old! How did we get here? No really, how did we make it? More patience than you ever knew you would need. I currently have a screaming one month old who can’t be cuddled happily, who’s soother keeps falling out causing another melt down, who is making the sweetest little noises as he sucks on it. His face is looking more like a little boy than a newborn and he places his hands on his cheeks when he wants to comfort himself. I am in love beyond words. He has his daddy’s eyebrows, nose and lips. Mommys chin and a mix of both of our eyes. He’s even cute when he whines.
Bringing us back to this blog! I have a TON of reviews to do on so many different items! I promise to do at least one review a week!
Follow me as I make my way through the first year of parenthood…I promise to be nothing but honest. I ask in return that you hold your judgements, if you don’t like something I’ve said, feel free to stop reading my blog. I am not here for lectures or your thoughts on my parenting abilities or choices.
Here’s to the future!
Momma b
The Honest Momma 